Frankly, the Love Never Dies launch was one of the biggest let downs of my musical theatre-loving career – right up there with the fact that Austentatious STILL hasn’t got a transfer, the monstrosity that was Will Baker’s Rent: Remixed, and the entirety of 9 to 5.
Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sierra Boggess and Ramin Karimloo at the launch of Love Never Dies
First there was a video montage that made me blush with its Daily Express-like crass capitalisation on the fact that Princess Diana saw Phantom of the Opera and now she is dead. Then Lord Lloyd Webber took to the stage to tell a jolly little tale about the new show’s genesis. Basically he was quite rightly informed that the original’s conclusion is rather unsatisfactory, because our heroine ends up with a dull husband (who is also irritating, as we established last week) and the Phantom just disappears. And it took Ben Elton to tell him that the show should focus on the characters we already know, rather than introducing new ones.
Anyone with an interest in musical theatre will have known for months that Ramin Karimloo and Sierra Boggess are the principals in Love Never Dies, so it was hardly a surprise when they walked on and Karimloo performed one of the songs from the new score while Boggess sat on a big golden chair. It was more of a surprise when Lloyd Webber applauded Karimloo, and then announced, “Right, I think that’s it,” and dragged his two stars off stage. The disappointment in the theatre was overwhelming – not just from hacks wanting a story, but from the dedicated Phans who’d been specially invited and didn’t learn anything they hadn’t already known.
So what could they have done to make this launch more spectacular?
Announcing the rest of the cast. Obvious, but a goodie. Summer Strallen was later revealed as Meg Giry, but that’s another bit of news that’s been widely rumoured for months. And the fun of new casts is quite often in spotting up-and-comers and speculating on understudies.
Scale models of the set. Although as they didn’t announce it was to be staged at the Adelphi until later, they might have overlooked this one. Part of Phantom’s charm is in the set and lighting – it would be fascinating to know how they intend to portray Coney Island. I have a horrid feeling that it may be through projections, just as Lloyd Webber did to little effect with The Woman In White.
Get Boggess to sing. You’ve got the girl here, and London critics and audiences are unlikely to have seen her in action before. It’s a total waste of her time and talent sticking her in a gold lame frock and making her simper at Ramin Karimloo.
Magic tricks. Paul Daniels is apparently not involved in the new production, and I suspect it will be all the worse for that. Who, after all, does not thrill to their soul when they read in the Phantom programme, “Magic consultant: Paul Daniels”? He could have sawed Boggess in half or something while she was waiting around, at least.
Drop the chandelier, once and for all. All those critics who are sniffy about musicals but still turn up if there’s a freebie on offer? Sit them in the firing line. Then cut the cord.
